On a Saturday morning at the Sky Dragon Centre, one might find a very special individual named Shirley Elford  practicing yoga with her teacher Javad. If confronted with this jovial being full of life, you would likely not presume that she has been facing cancer. Although the medical establishment has informed her that her condition is terminal, Shirley has spent a great deal of time in the past two years concentrating on the elements in her world which enhance her quality of life.

Shirley is a highly respected and loved member of our community who is celebrated for her artistic talent in glass sculpturing, personal contributions to Hamilton arts, and most importantly for her kindness and generosity. When she was immobilized and forced to slow down due to the breakage of her hip, her yoga instructor offered her these crucial words; “if you do nothing else, just breathe.”

Unbeknownst to her at that time, these words, along with the enriched yogic philosophies she was learning, would help her stay grounded through the intense pain associated with cancer treatment, and coming to terms with the possibility of death. Her doctors and her community of friends and family have witnessed her progress and are not quite sure what it is that has kept her on our earth this long, with a continued smile of strength and integrity on her face.

This past fall, Shirley decided to give away most of her belongings, including her clothes, glass sculptures, art equipment and even the money left in her estate to the community foundation. She wanted to give it all away while she is still alive to see the joy in others receiving these gifts. “Besides,” Shirley states, “It’s just stuff, and to realize that is very freeing.” The yogic philosophies of “santosha” (acceptance of what is) and “aparigraha” (to limit possessions to only that which is necessary), permeated her being and influenced her outlook in a positive way.

Through her healing journey, Shirley has taken the initiative to support others in their struggles, which has helped to bring her situation to a completely different light. She commented, “When you listen to others and what they’re experiencing, you realize that your situation is nothing compared to what they’re going through.” Focusing her attention on others allowed her to be fully engaged in the world around her; she was able to remain present, but not focused on her health.

While staying in the hospital with a broken hip, she took on the role of caregiver to those around her in of need love and support. Shirley brought them coffee and reading material from her wheelchair. Reflecting on this, she laughs and says “You haven’t lived until you’ve balanced eight cups of coffee in your lap while laughing in a wheelchair.”

When Shirley came to the yoga class at the Sky Dragon, with her hip still in the process of healing, Javad taught her how to listen to her body and understand what she should and shouldn’t do. Although tremendously difficult at times, Shirley was steadfast in her commitment to yoga and her yoga buddies. When she became incredibly ill in the fall, Shirley’s teacher and class relocated to her house to support her. She comments that the laughter helped her to get through the pain that she was experiencing at that time.

In her yoga practice, she learned to be accepting of the pain that she was experiencing as an integral part of the process, stating: “When you get through the pain, it’s just peace on the other side.” Instead of resisting it, she learned from it and embraced it as part of getting to the next phase. According to the personal codes of Raja Yoga; “Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm.” With this peace, Shirley has been able to fully embrace and share her life in a positive space with all people.

Much can be said about the healing powers of intimacy and laughter. Everyone at some point in their lives has felt the comfort that comes with an embrace, the feeling of safety that accompanies friendship and the joy that embraces our soul in laughter. Shirley’s strong connections to those in her yoga and arts communities and beyond, have surrounded her with comforting and uplifting energy, which is essential to the healing process. Hubert H. Humphrey said: “The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.” Remaining close with a community of supportive folks is essential to our well-being.

This closeness with community was a huge cornerstone for Stephanie Anson in remaining grounded while regaining the use of her body after a car accident in June which nearly took her life. Upon arrival to the hospital, Stephanie faced a shattered pelvis and sacrum, lacerations in her spleen, pulmonary embolisms in both lungs and intense pain because of blood filling the pleural cavity of her left lung.

She spent five weeks recovering in the hospital, and then several months of intense therapy. It was difficult to face the realization that her independence was severely compromised, as her body was unable to perform in her usual active ways. Further challenging was the inability to be in intimate proximity with anyone in her life. She was forced to remain guarded over her fragile body because of her physical wounds and lung problems.

Despite the pain that she endured through this time, she was driven by the acknowledgement that she is still here and that this was an opportunity to advance and grow, to progress forward instead of pitying herself. This drive, along with the encouragement of friends and family, allowed for a rapid progression through her healing.

Stephanie found a physio-therapist named Laura who was able to come to her house on a regular basis, along with a kinesiologist Timo who, as a team, helped her to strengthen, stabilize and retrain the muscles in her body. Once she was able to walk again, her ambition to heal never seized. She decided to explore other healing modalities which lead her to Dawn, a yoga instructor who specializes in restorative yoga, and a kung fu class at McMaster University, both of which taught Stephanie to listen to her body and be attentive to her capabilities.

Yoga brought her great fulfillment and offered her a practice that kept her grounded and balanced. Kung Fu helped her become intently aware of how to move her body, and expanded the understanding of the subtleties of her body. These practices, although complementary to her therapy, were challenging at times, which forced Stephanie to take on the mind of a child learning to walk; wobbling, falling then getting back up again, no unnecessary expectations for progress: just complete acceptance of where she was in every moment, and embracing each step.

Stephanie attributed much of her healing to closeness she shared with people in her life. Her healing was not only hers, as everyone in her community was deeply affected, and moved with her through this process. Once Stephanie was able to integrate back into community activities, the closeness to others allowed her to heal the scars left in her body and soul. She remained steadfast in her commitment to singing in a choir at Centenary United Church, and the music that she created with her friends offered her the brilliance of self expression. The energy and vibrance that she received from the people surrounding her was the essential support that she needed to stay grounded and positive throughout her healing.

To my amazement, these two exceptional women shared a great deal in common despite the differences in their healing journeys. I was humbled by the strength, integrity and uplifting nature of these women who had been through so much. I realized that despite the pain that each of them had felt, neither of them had faced a great deal of suffering. It became apparent to me that pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice.

Both Shirley and Stephanie’s embracing of 'what is' provided them each with the serenity to accept the things they could not change. Shirley mentioned; “If you try to make it what it cannot be, it will never happen, and you will miss the opportunity to see the joy in what is.” Stephanie found a lot of meaning in her accident, seeing it is an opportunity to “realize how real life is”, and it allowed her to gain strength on so many levels.

I realized how important their deeply healing practices were, and equally important, the community that was created around them in providing support for each of them. It’s interesting to note that the word 'Yoga' comes from the root word 'Yuj', which means to unite. So similar, it seems, are the outcomes of practicing yoga and creating community. Shirley recommends yoga as a path to healing, but she says that people need to take off their hard shell and allow energy to penetrate their heart. It occurred to me that people do not die from cancer but rather from feeling unloved, lacking in that sense of community which is so essential to well-being. In Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom writes: “you don’t know how to live, until you learn how to die.” It is clear to me, through the radiant energy I witnessed in the hearts of both of these incredible women, that they embody the essence of truly living life to its absolute fullest despite the difficulties that we all face on this journey of life.